Apostrophes, Apostrophes (and Drinking)

We were quite drunk. Don't gasp, it was a Girl's Night after all, and we had started at Lori's apartment on some fantastic homemade sangria. By the time we made it to downtown, we were happy, buzzy, and giggly--and extracting wedding details from Leanne, the guest of honor. (I had already agreed to make her a guestbook, but when I was sober...)

After some sushi, we went to Common Grounds, a lovely coffee shop/bar. It was raining, but we were cozily inside, ordering martinis and cake. Six girls, six forks, two pieces of cake. And more drinks. I look at the menu, and I see "Martini's". My grammar brain clicks on, apparently not slowed down by my consumption of intoxicating beverages. My mouth, which usually checks such displays of nerdiness, was unequal to the task, and I shouted, "Why is there an apostrophe?" All of us scrutinize the menus, and Sophia declares that I'm right--there shouldn't be an apostrophe in martinis. We banter back and forth about the apostrophe, then dig into cake.

We then head for another bar, where I pick up the beer menu. And there's yet another misplaced apostrophe! I burst out, "Look!" and everyone laughs and me and mocks my nerdiness--but they had said "wheat's, ales, and stouts". They couldn't even be consistent with their apostrophe errors, so I fussed a bit more, the grammar schoolmarm in me raging, generating more laughs all around (including my own). A pineapple upsidedown cake shot shut me up for the rest of the evening, though not before I declared that I would start carrying around a red sharpie to apprise the world of their apostrophe errors.

It just goes to show that one's true obsessions are not slowed down when ingesting mind altering substances.