Cranky Redux

1.  "Is Emily Dickinson a lesbian?" was the first question out of his mouth.  To kick off the discussion of one of my favorite poets, we begin with this question?  No. Way.  Dr. M. and A (a grad student) moved it to a discussion about gender ambiguity in her poetry and the role of gender (all worthy topics), but I just slapped my forehead in pain, anguish, and exasperation.  Why are we so willing to read her poetry through biography?  I was in fact so cranky that I wrote my reading journal with a twinge of an attitude (toward the view, not my prof).  I wanted to talk about the visual appeal of the poetry (capitalization and dashes, i.e.) and some other things. Cue: pain and frustration.

2.  There was going to be Rhet/Comp seminar next semester.  Yay, a class in my discipline! Perfect!  But, alas, due to the fracas that took place in October, the class was canceled.  Cue: woe and despair.

3  I seem to be developing a cold, one week before a draft and a research presentation are due. Cue: further woe and further despair.

4.  We counted all the people we should invite, could invite, have to invite.  Then we added up out of the almost absolutely bare minimum we have to invite that will come and it added up to more than our space will hold.  Lance is measuring to see if we can make it work.  Cue: let Lance deal with it for right now...I gotta finish out the semester!

5.  Today, something was said (not to me directly or about me directly) that pushed my anger button.  I don't really want to go into detail in an online space, but it's nothing too juicy and scandalous, and I might tell you if you ask me personally.  Needless to say, it made me cranky. (Cue: crankiness)

6.  I like the Romantics as much as anyone: but to the person in my class who insists that art is created from the outpouring of an effluent spring, the divine speaking through the poet, the lightning strike of inspiration, the drugged dream haze: this is not how it works.  Even the Romantics knew that.  Writing might begin (or contain) little flashes and moments of inspiration, but to make something good, the artist has to think, to have a purpose in creating, and execute with skill.  Otherwise any idiot high on pot could write like Coleridge, Wordsworth, Shelley, or [INSERT AUTHOR HERE].

7.  The same person also said that great art is never written with an intentional political/social purpose.  Puh-lease!  (Note: this person is not an artist: she once wrote one poem in one outpouring of emotion, so she bases this on that one experience.)

The non-cranky:
I'm obviously engaged and opinionated in my studies, so I guess that's a good thing?

In Which Jenn Querulously Writes

I don't know if it's just that time of the semester (where we all need a break) or what, but I'm finding myself becoming crankier.  More cantankerous.  Querulous, even.  So today I shall discuss particular points of complaint.

One: students on campus.  Okay, so I know I work at a university and am a student, so I really shouldn't complain about this.  However, I'm looking specifically at how students move around on campus.  Since I'm on a bike, I'm hyper-aware of my setting (because I want to stay alive to bike another day), but I've noticed that most students don't pay attention to their surroundings.  I've almost run students down because they are too busy texting or looking at their feet to remember that they are surrounded by potential obstacles.  (FYI: they don't even hear my bike bell.) They also can't walk in a straight line, which makes biking around them surprisingly difficult.

But here is my main complaint: I usually ride on the sidewalk for a short bit, then switch to the roads that run through campus.  However, students don't even look before they cross those roads! And I'm not talking about using cross-walks--they just walk.  Wherever.  Everywhere.  And yes, cars do drive on these roads.  Today, I almost ran down three students who just randomly crossed in front of me without even looking up.  Normally, I would just roll my eyes, but today I scolded them loudly.

These kids seem so lost in their own little words (which I'm sure are infinitely fascinating) that they can't even observe the world around them.  This leads me to my next point: individualism is not all it's chalked up to be.  Bear with me a minute as I make the connection:  we as a nation are obsessed with the individual.  Thinking that one is a unique butterfly in a world of unique butterflies leads, in my thinking, to this inability to remember that one exists in spaces with other people.  Be considerate. Look around.  And watch out for angry girls on bikes.

In Feminist Theory, we keep hitting on this idea of the individual, which frustrates me because, yes, while, we are all individuals with individual experiences, we also exist within a social order, a society, a culture(s), structures, and institutions.  We are who we are because of our place in the world, not because of some unique individualism that is inherent to human nature.  We love, share, and communicate because we can understand other people: we have shared experiences, thoughts, ideologies, and perspectives.  Emphasizing individualism is detrimental to society because we all think we're entitled to step on other people to get to where we want to go instead of trying to work together to make the world a better place.  You are not a unique snowflake.  Deal with it, and remember that there are other people in the world besides you.

That Grad School Thing

As everyone expected, I disappeared into a pile of books, notes, and papers as the semester progressed  I have reemerged, albeit likely temporarily.

What have I been up to?  A list, for your ease of understanding:

• Attended and presented at my first academic conference as a PhD student
• Began Project Wedding Dress (posts to come, I hope, and pictures)
• Ordered the most beautiful wedding shoes
• Drank copious amounts of coffee
• Gave up drinking copious amounts of coffee
• Ran a 5k, placed third in my age group, and earned a new PR (26:03!)
• Read pages and pages and pages
• Saw two authors of cool books, all within one week
• Checked out mountains of books from the library for my research papers
• Subbed for a friend's Comp I classes, which was pretty fun
• Dressed up like a robot for Halloween
• Realized that we have three months until the wedding
• Started a paper on feminists and vampires
• Bought a plane ticket to Boston for Thanksgiving
• Tutored lots of students in writing, which was FUN

Anyway, you get the idea.  It has been fun and glorious and I wouldn't give it up for anything.  I'm about to have to abandon my social life for the next month or so to get everything done, but I'll emerge on the other side successfully!

Women and Literary Production

I'm taking a course in feminist theory this semester, so I thought I'd share some of my reading journal from this week (we're reading from Feminist Literary Theory: A Reader, edited by Mary Eagleton):

            When men control the means of written production, how is a woman to speak publicly? Chapter 2 is concerned primarily with women and literary production: how it has been limited by men, by feminism, by society.  Eagleton indicates these factors kept women from speaking out, and if they did, often their writing was viewed as inferior to men’s.  The two excerpts from Woolf—Shakespeare’s sister and killing the Angel of the House—deal with the difficulties of being a woman who longs to write and wishes to write about her experiences in a woman’s body, but is prevented from doing so: either prevented from writing at all or from writing about ideas that are considered “improper.”  Olsen looks at the silencing of women, which begins at birth and prevents their entry into the class of writers.

            Eagleton’s introduction to Chapter 2 got me thinking about modern means of production, especially the Internet.  Women are among the most active writers on the Internet, with the advent of “mommy blogs” and other communities created by women for women.  Each year, a conference is held for female bloggers (called BlogHer), where they meet and mingle and discuss issues about being a woman and being a public writer.  Many of these bloggers are given opportunities to write books based on their blogs, meaning more women are producing books. While blogging seems empowering for women, since the means of production is removed from male hands, I have to wonder if this trend is simply another way to keep women writing only about “female” concerns: being a mother, cooking, housekeeping, etc.  And obviously among female bloggers there are a good number who are concerned with feminist undertakings (blogs like Jezebel and Feministing, for example) and publish books that question the status quo (I’m thinking, for example, about a book by Jessica Valenti called The Purity Myth, which examines the American obsession with women’s virginity and how it ultimately damages women).  Anyway, are we moving toward a time when women’s writing isn’t viewed as inferior to men’s or women are pushed toward writing about stereotypically female concerns, or does the growth in women writing on the Internet contribute to these trends?  Perhaps, as Woolf says, “So accurately does history repeat itself” (77).

Computers

Today, I found the TA computer lab, to which I have a key.  It was exciting because I ended up hanging out with a bunch of other graduate students and not doing any work.  But there was the potential to do work, oh yes.  I did print a couple of things.  And e-mailed cake recipes to my aunt for the wedding I'm supposed to be planning.

Since quitting my job, I'm sitting at the computer a LOT less.  Which means all my sharebros on Google Reader are seeing a lot fewer recipes and cats in their shared items.  What it also means is that I'm moving around more and seem to be embarking on a successful graduate school diet, mostly because my graduate school friends are too poor to afford chocolate to share with me, so my sugar consumption has been way down since I also cannot afford chocolate.  I'm also biking to school daily--going on three weeks straight now.

Since I'm not on the computer as much, I'm relying on my phone for e-mail and Facebook.  But since the screen is very tiny, I'm not fond of staring at it too long, so I glance at it every now and then and return to work.

I am, however, going to be spending a lot of time on the computer tonight and tomorrow.  Because I have to do research.  It would seem that my computer-time will now be spent in the pursuit of more knowledge.  Right now, I'm looking at programs that teach science and literacy together--how interesting!  It seems that I cannot escape my science peeps.

It's raining, and I'm at the computer.  Time to do some science reading and head to bed.

P.S. Graduate school rocks.

Back to School!

It was the first day: I eagerly waited outside my classroom door, waiting for class to start.  When it did, the fifty minutes flew by so quickly that I was stunned when class was completed. The next day were the same: a flurry of notes and discussion and talking to professors about my new roles as a first year Ph.D. student.

I'm really excited to be starting back to school, and I've been reading and thinking and doing, and it's not even the end of the second week.  I'm no longer working at my old job; instead, my job now is to learn and think and write and research.  And I'm beyond happy.

I got a desk in an office, and I like my officemates.  I've already had discussions about Orientalism, Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, cultural misunderstandings, and teaching techniques.  I've been learning about classical rhetoric (so fascinating!), how to teach freshman composition (also really interesting!), and feminist theory (I'm liking this one a lot too).  It's all really interesting, and even though I may be working longer days than eight-to-five, it flies by.  I come home energized, telling Lance all about Bahktin and his dialogical theories and how neat rhetorical theory is.

If I had any doubt that I was meant to be an academic, it was erased during the first week as the joy of being in school washed through me.  But it's not just about being in school; no, it's about being in the position to focus solely on academic pursuits.  My work ties into my studies.  I'm tutoring in the writing center, which is in line with my interests in teaching and researching pedagogy.  The projects that I'm working on for my adviser also tie into those interests.  Working full-time while going to school was difficult, and though I was lucky to be able to get into a good place financially before starting a Ph.D. program, I know I missed so much during my MA program by not being a full-time student.  This time, it's for real.  I'm a student all the way, and I'm fully immersing myself in the culture of academia and the mindset of being a scholar.

So Many Words, So Little Time

In approximately three weeks, I will be sitting down to take the GRE. Again. When asked why I would torture myself again with this obnoxious test, my reply is that I would like a good stipend/fellowship/shot at admission to an awesome PhD program.

You see, my scores were good but not stellar. I'm close to the minimum score needed to get a better fellowship should I remain at the University of Arkansas (not my top choice, though not a bad one), and I want to do whatever I can to improve my chances at getting into a top program.

So, for the next three weeks, I'm going to be memorizing vocabulary words and taking practice tests in addition to gathering up my application materials, obtaining letters of reference, and editing my writing sample and statement of intent.

Why do I put myself through all this torture? Why am I not just done with school already? Because I belong in a PhD program. The GRE studying has been, well, fun in one sense because I'm studying something. I'm learning and absorbing and filing information away, and I love how that feels. I know in my bones that I'm meant to be in the classroom, both to learn and to teach, and the only way I'm going to get there is to take a jump. And there's certainly no time like the present.

The Week After

If you haven't heard by now, I successfully defended my thesis on the 16th. This past week (and weekend) has been spent lazing about, reading books, thinking about putting the finishing touches on my final copies, and visiting with good friends.

The defense itself was, well, intense. I had prepared a twenty-minute formal presentation, only to be told the morning of that I needed to prepare to speak "no more than fifteen minutes". After the panic subsided, I figured I'd just go with what I'd prepared. When the defense began, my adviser introduced me and set an informal tone to the defense, so I ended up discarding my notes and just talking. And I think it went better than if I had been more formal.

Then came the questions. Oh, the questions! For about 40 minutes, they grilled me. I didn't have time to even be nervous about anything, though my adviser had to bail me out of one tight spot. Toward the end, the defense became a discussion on the writing and educational needs of engineering students from all who were present (I had three guests), which I thought was a great way to conclude. After receiving an "you're okay" gesture from my adviser, I stepped into the hall for a moment , chatting with S, an engineering professor. Then my committee called me back in and congratulated me. I was now a Master.

I thought I would feel some great sense of relief, but I was a little dazed after the intensity of the defense, and I still can't quite believe it's all done. But it is, and I felt pretty good. I learned a lot about large research projects, which should serve me well in my PhD program.

I've begun reading The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (great recommendation, Donna!) and I read Coraline on the way home from Little Rock. Coraline was good, and although the movie differs quite a bit, the film's changes enhance the story on that level. I enjoyed both for their individual merits, and would recommend them for children (probably seven or older, though).

I've also been cleaning and cooking, participating in the Kitchn Cure Challenge, and doing lots of yoga. I missed taking care of all the little household things like cleaning and cooking and keepting the house tidy. I'm sure I'll get tired of not working and schooling all at the same time, but it won't be any time soon!

Muffin Break

I'm in the throes of my writing. Well, sorta...I'm taking a blogging break. I promised my adviser he'd see three chapters and two syllabi by Monday. Right now, I have not quite one finished chapter, a hefty start on another, and the inklings of a third (i.e. notes on scratch paper). I do, however, have a full syllabus. I have to say that I'm pretty proud of my work on it. I put a lot of time into it, and the feedback so far has been very positive. I already sent the syllabus off to my adviser and to one of my readers to get their feedback. All in all, I'm making a lot of progress, and I feel confident that in a week or so, I'll have a full draft turned in*. Then on to defense!

Meanwhile, I baked muffins last night, and I thought I'd share the recipe with you all. I do have to warn you all that this is a rough approximation of a recipe, since I just threw what I had lying around in it. I'll try to hone it soon, since I have vats of pumpkin puree in my freezer. I think this will get you close enough, however, so feel free to play around with it. But I can vouch that the results are delicious. Not too sweet, flavorful and filling, and perfect for a nutritious breakfast.

Pumpkin Blueberry Muffins
Makes 24 muffins

• 1-1/2 cup oat flour
• 3/4 cup oats
  
• 1/2 cup white flour
• 1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut**
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
  
• 1/3 cup roughly chopped pecans
  
• blueberries (I just dumped in about a cup)
  
• spices: cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, cloves
  
• ~1/2 cup brown sugar
• 3 tbsp blackstrap molasses
• 1 cup buttermilk
  
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups pumpkin puree
• some hazelnut oil--2 tbsp?
  

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Prepare two muffin tins (24 muffin cups)--either lining with papers or spraying in a bit of oil. I use a Misto and it works perfectly, but my tins are also non-stick. I also have silicone muffin liners, which work pretty well and are reusable.

In a medium bowl, mix together flours, oats, coconut, baking powder and soda, spices, and salt, pecans, and blueberries. If using frozen blueberries, we've noticed that just mixing in solid berries works, but it might cook better if they are somewhat thawed.

In a large bowl, mix everything else. Mix dry into wet and stir thoroughly. Normally recipes have you mix the wet into the dry, but I always find flour on the bottom when I'm part way through filling the cups, so I prefer this way. Don't overmix or you'll kill all the good bubbles. Scoop into muffin cups and bake until golden brown and done--a toothpick will come out cleanly.***

*Cue crushing chest anxiety. Oh my.
**The only place I have been able to find unsweetened coconut is the natural foods store in the bulk bins. Believe me, it's far better than the sweetened crap.
***Though not if you stick it in the middle of a blueberry. Also, if you have an inconsistent oven like mine, some might be done before others, so rotate the tins around occasionally. I'm really not sure how long it took to bake since I just let them go until they smell, look, and feel right.

Bits of This n' That

• In a correction to my prior post, there are apparently faculty who live in my complex. Or something. But I'm right about the other stuff...
  
• Meyer lemons are tasty, especially when baked into a pie, or combined with goat cheese, asparagus, and nuts*. Yum. I'm a fan of these tasty little citrus.
• I'm plodding along on my thesis. A little work here and there, which was derailed by having a stomach bug Tuesday and residually on Wednesday. Yuck. But today--much work will be accomplished. And tomorrow. And Saturday (well, maybe not all day Saturday). And a bit on Sunday too.
• I expect to hear good news from a great friend today.
• The Decemberists released The Hazards of Love on iTunes yesterday. I'm very tempted to buy it, even though I like to purchase actual CDs from bands I like--that way I can take it in the car, etc. I guess I'm old fashioned like that.
• Google Reader (which has changed my blog-reading life) now lets you comment on other peoples' shared items. How cool is that?

All right, folks, back to work!

*It makes a good breakfast too. Mmm...

Slogging Away

I AM graduating this semester. There's no reason for me not to. I've applied for graduation, paid my fees, picked up my regalia, turned in my forms. What's left? Oh yeah, my thesis.

I really love talking about my thesis. I've read a lot, learned a lot, and thought a lot. Now it's time to get it all out on PAPER. So I've been alternating reading and writing.

I met up with my adviser last week, and we set up some deadlines. I modified them to give myself a better cushion, but here they are:

March 2: turn in a chapter
March 23: turn in two more chapters + syllabi drafts
April 1: Complete draft due
May 1: final copies turned into the graduate school

Now, my adviser wanted me to turn in a complete draft on on April 15. But the thought of only having two weeks to scrape together my defense, revise and edit, etc. terrified me, so I moved the date up on myself. If I can get a complete rough draft to my adviser on April 1st, I'll be doing well. And also can possibly set up my defense; we'll, of course, have to see about that.

I'm slogging away at it. Right now, I'm shooting to get about 15 pages of writing per chapter, since I figure I'll add a lot more as I revise and edit. I'm also still doing research, so I'll add more in as I go. Then I'll have the syllabi, course assignments, and many appendices, so that should flesh it out to a tidy length.

The end is in sight--I just need to get to work!

THE END

My paper is done, all 17 pages of it! Let me rejoice! The end is here!

Suddenly, inexplicably, it hits me--I'm finished with my MA coursework. The last item to complete is my thesis. And while that's a challenge in its own right, I find myself sad because I'm done with classes. No more discussions about awesome books. That's right: it's also the end of this phase of my schooling.

Yay?

Pittsburgh, oy!

I didn't know what I was expecting from Pittsburgh. I was excited to travel to a new place, as usual, and I had looked up some neat things to visit while I was there (Italian espresso shop, anyone??), but I wasn't expecting to enjoy Pittsburgh as much as I did.

I think I fall a little bit in love with any new place. It's like the rush of a new relationship: the city is all sparkle and wit, exciting and invigorating, and it's hard to spot his flaws. I just stand dazzled and enchanted, happy to have the thrill of a fresh scene*.

I traveled to Pittsburgh to visit with the University of Pittsburgh engineering writing folks. They were fun to talk to, and they gave me lots of good ideas to play with. Their program has been developing for almost ten years, so they've had some time to make it really, really good.

Toward the end of the meeting, Beth (the writing center outreach coordinator and orchestrator of engineering writing instruction) planted a seed: Pittsburgh would be a good place for a PhD, and I might find myself an assistantship working with their program. This I was not expecting, but it made a certain amount of sense. I love innovative approaches to composition, and I could participate in a program that flips traditional composition on its head. Wow.

The thought of living and working in Pittsburgh is appealing, especially since I'm still starry-eyed from my first encounters with the city. I could bike all over the city, or I could ride the buses--who would need a car? We'd have decent Indian food within blocks of our apartment. I could experience living in an urban setting--but still be able to escape to the lovely Pennsylvanian countryside if I wanted to. And I could get my PhD funded and work with a fantastic and fun group of people.

A new door has opened, and I find that infinitely thrilling. I'm trying not to stress about all the options because it's really enjoyable to have so many future paths open before me. I could pick almost anything! We'll see if the enchantment of Pittsburgh is enough to pull me back.

*I did the same thing with Flagstaff, Arizona and St. Louis when I traveled there and explored the new places. I love figuring out a new environment and getting a feel for a novel location.

Now Presenting...

Last week, I received an e-mail on the English listserv that invited graduate students to submit a proposal for papers on eighteenth-century literature to the EC/ASECS Conference*. It just so happened that I had worked on a paper in the fall over a bit of eighteenth-century literature--and I even had an abstract from our mini-conference!--so I submitted it. And thought happily about going, then forgot about it on my camping trip.

Today, I return to find this in my e-mail inbox:

Dear Jennifer-

I am pleased to inform you that your proposal to present your paper, "How to Be a Man: Homosocial Friendships in The Monk" at the 2008 EC/ASECS Conference at Georgetown University in Washington, DC, November 6-9, 2008, has been accepted. More information on the conference, including registration, can be found at http://english.georgetown.edu/programs/ecasecs08/ . Would you please respond to the request for information (below) as soon as possible?

I will be in touch again about a month before the conference for your basic info (including any recent publications, what you are working on, etc.) as well as any changes to your paper title (if any) for my introductory remarks.

I look forward to meeting you in Georgetown! Thank you, and congratulations once again.

I squealed with delight. I've been accepted to a conference! My first! I'm so excited. It's in Georgetown (Washington DC) in the fall. I'll be presenting with other graduate students and receiving constructive (I hope!) feedback from more experienced scholars. I'm just so happy to be accepted--and I'm looking forward to going, after I get all the travel arrangements, reservations, and registration taken care of.**

Look out academia, I'm on my way!

*The East-Central American Society for Eighteenth Century Studies. Yeah, I have to join it too in order to present/attend this conference. But that's what graduate student rates are for!

**Our graduate school offers modest grants to graduate students to travel to a conference, except for employees of the University. Somehow, that makes me less deserving of the modest sum to pay for my expenses? Guess I've got something to save for now^...

^Ah, shoot--should I buy a suit now? Donna or other experienced academes, what do you think? Is a nice suit out of order for presenting? I want to look good and make a good impression and have people remember me who might want to work with me later...Nah, I'm going to keep focusing on the good, the happy, and the fantastic.

In Which Jenn Concludes Her Semester

I just got back from turning in my final paper for 18th Century Novel (about the Arabian Nights' Entertainments). I was reluctant to let it go--I had fun writing it, and I really am interested in the ideas I had. As I was revising it, I thought about how the reader's relationship to Scheherazade is similar to the sultan's. As readers, we find the stories so compelling that we are reluctant to close the book; in effect, we are reluctant to cause the 'death' of the story, just as the sultan does not want to kill Scheherazade because the stories bring him pleasure and delight. Isn't that a cool idea? But I didn't have time to flesh it out--it became relegated to a sentence tacked on to a paragraph about the interaction between reader-audience, textual-audience, and the frame tale.

I think I'm going to keep working on that paper. It was so much fun.

Now for a bit of listiness--Things I learned this semester

• I really shouldn't put off doing a paper. It turns out that I really hate rushing through writing and wish I could spend weeks working on a topic that I'm really excited about.
• Procrastination only leads to my grief.
• I eat a lot more when I'm working hard on something.
• Exercise clears my brain to concentrate harder.
• Sleep is not overrated, and coffee should not be consumed past 8pm if I want to sleep.
• I have the ability to read and write a lot in one night, but it is an unsustainable ability
• The Marquis de Sade makes me want to puke. But he's actually pretty interesting in his own right. (Damn my academic brain)
• 30 Rock is a really funny show--and good procrastination/reward fodder. (It was actually a good reward once I stopped watching several shows in a row.)
• I love the Arabian Nights' Entertainments.
• Being in grad school means you can drink with (some of) your professors.

I've obviously learned much more, but I think it's time to go do some work...(job work, not school work--I'm taking a break!)

What's Jenn Been Doing?

On May 1st, I had the grand plan of writing here everyday. I still feel like it's pretty important.

Then I forgot to post--it was a busy day!--and have since been absorbed in finals. I had a take home final due Monday along with a project write up, and tomorrow I have a 15-25 page paper due for 18th century novel.

Let me tell you, though, this paper I'm writing is so much fun. I have no clue how good it is, but I'm really enjoying it, so perhaps that'll shine through. I'm looking at narrative strategy in the Arabian Nights' Entertainments (1001 Nights in other translations). I get into a long discussion about how there are two different audiences--and embedded audience, then an audience of the text--and I use my favorite essay ever, Tolkien's "On Fairy-Stories" to further examine what the text does and why it's so powerful as a story. I'm really loving it right now. Oh, and I use The Princess Bride in my introduction. Neat!

What else have I been up to? I got to hang out with an awesome pal for a month (yay!). I ran into a former friend and, treated with complete coldness by someone who once I considered a good friend, decided to let that relationship go (I have since deleted that individual from my e-life). I've been procrastinating a lot. I've also been watching 30 Rock because that show is hilarious. (I like it so much that I want to take it behind the middle school...)

Anyway, my paper is due tomorrow, then I'll be free (sort of) for the summer! I already have a list of books I'm going to attempt to read...

I Get it Already!

I've begun skimming the novel I have to read for Thursday.

Before you gasp in shock and despair at my sloppy English student ways, let me explain: Marquis de Sade. (People pause. They know that name. The term "sadist" comes to mind. Didn't he get thrown in jail and wasn't he the subject of a movie?).

We're reading Justine for 18th Century English novel. I'd already read a shorter piece by Sade that involved a man who raised his daughter up as his mistress, so I thought I was ready for anything he could throw at me. Boy was I wrong.

Justine is about 350 pages of unrelenting aberrant sexual practices: rape, sodomy, incest. And there is no glossing over these occurances, no making it easy for the reader--nope, Sade seems to take a sadistic (haha) pleasure out of describing scene after scene of the horrible acts that can be done to poor Justine. It's pretty terrible, though the story itself and the writing isn't too bad.

I'm only mildly prudish, I promise--I don't usually shy away from stark descriptions of sex, even violent sex...but usually those descriptions are one moment of a book. In Justine, they occur over and over again. And again. I wonder at the number of "libertines" who are after some crazy, weird sex. After reading the book for about three hours straight, I suddenly couldn't take anymore, and I had to stop. I was physically sick to my stomach.

Therefore, I'm skipping the rest of the horrible passages. Since I have less than 100 pages left, I think that I get the idea of what Sade is after.

Monolingualism is American?

My Applied Linguistics course confronts several issues of language and literacy, one of which is learning a foreign language and the persistent monolingualism of the United States. As someone who can be considered proficient in a second language (I did manage to get around Spain for two months), I always feel a bit of smugness that I don't fall into the "monolingual" category.

Then, however, I run into students from all over the world who not only know two languages, but usually are proficient in three or four, and have a working knowledge of several others. It's crazy how sheltered we are when it comes to language.

The Chronicle of Higher Education published a commentary on the the foreign language requirement for English graduate students. The author, Edward White, thinks programs should be more serious about the requirement--which means bringing it to students' awareness before they start graduate school.

White is absolutely correct. Graduate programs shouldn't get rid of the foreign language requirement because there are valid reasons for its existence. The advantages to learning a foreign language are numerous, one of which is a better understanding of your own language--several concepts in English clicked for me after I started learning Spanish. Also, there is more to literary studies than English literature (or literature in English). Being able to familiarize oneself to other languages is a step toward learning about other cultures, philosophies, and a rich world literature.

I'm looking forward to PhD school when I have the excuse and opportunity to learn another language. I always debate on what it'll be: French? German? Greek? More students should learn foreign language--and help reverse the trend that classifies Americans as persistently monolingual.

The Return

A brief list of what's been going on (with a promise of more detail later):

• I think I've formed my thesis committee, so
• I've begun working harder on my thesis.
• I'm enrolling in thesis hours this summer, and taking my final class in the fall.
• Family drama: a dear cousin passed away, and my parents are incredibly selfish through it all. I wish I could go to the funeral, but it is impossible with work (priority registration started) and school. (It's in Colorado).
  
• Miniature books!
• Work, work, and more work. It's my life.
• For the first time in my academic career, I took advantage of a professor's good nature and got an extension on an assignment. Then it took me three weeks to finally complete it. I feel pretty horrible, so maybe it won't happen again.

Anyway, sorry I've been away for a bit. I'll post more details about all the exciting stuff going on.

Ill-Limbo

I've been in a state of not-quite-sick for the past week and a half, which is better than actually being sick. I would like to be totally healthy, however, so I can go run and do fun stuff like that. Instead, I've been taking it easy and relaxing and hanging out at my apartment.

Right now, I'm planning my apartment party (woo!), which should be lots of fun. I figure that it's almost too late to take time out of my semester for something fun...but I've been wanting to throw a party for a while now, and a new apartment is an awesome excuse.

We're working on Guilliver's Travels in 18th-century literature. I read this in high school (or junior high?), and I don't remember it being so entertaining. It has insane amounts of political allusions, so the only way I can catch them is by reading the notes. But then the notes often define something stupid, so that annoys me because it's a waste of my time. I am enjoying it and looking forward to discussing it on Thursday.

My other class is also going well. It has a weird dynamic because there are undergraduates, graduates, English majors, and anthropology majors all mixed in. I'm supposed to be designing a project to work on for it that involves my thesis, so that should be interesting...

Well, I'm about to go home and will myself to be better with some yoga and relaxation. May you all stay out of the realms of the ill...